ScissorX's blog
Part 1.5: How I meet other men at the gym (and you can too!)
For gym buddies, friends, wrestling meetups, or something more... 😏
Before I post Part 2, I wanted to give you an update on how my own game is going. As a bisexual male who is not out and trying to be discreet, making these kinds of connections at the gym can feel like navigating a minefield. That's why in my last post, I talked about making the first move, whether it's a simple nod, a quick compliment, or a short conversation. It's all about laying the groundwork and making people feel comfortable around you without any pressure.
I'm not a shy guy, so for me, that's the easy part. After a few months of seeing someone at least once or twice a week, I've done my job. I've broken the ice and built a connection.
Now, it's their turn.
And this is what you want. When you've put in the consistent effort, something shifts. They start coming to you. Many of the guys I've been talking to now go out of their way to approach me, and it's a great feeling because you know they enjoy your company.
The Big Win: They Ask to Hang Out
This is the ultimate goal of Part 1. It's proof that they're interested in taking things beyond the gym.
Just two days ago, one of them came up to me and we talked about supplements. He ended up asking for my number so I could send him a list of what I take. I have a strong feeling that was his way of getting my number without being too direct, which is a great sign. He also mentioned that he goes for a swim in the lake on Sundays before the gym. This is an example of a cue you should pay attention to. I immediately said I'd love to try that sometime and asked if I could join him.
Another guy I've been talking to recently asked if we could train together, and then asked for my number to plan a session.
Another guy who I have been training with for some time, (he is the one who asked to train together), asked if I would like to grab something to eat after the gym.
My point is, you want them to take the initiative. While you can absolutely ask for their number or suggest hanging out yourself, if they do it first, it's a very clear sign of how interested they are. Your consistent compliments and conversations should make them feel comfortable and confident enough to make that next move. While some guys are shyer and might need more encouragement, your job is to build a safe space where they feel empowered to take it further.
The Friendly Competition
Lately, I’ve noticed another interesting thing happening: a little friendly competition. When I talk to one guy, others will watch and sometimes even come over to interrupt, as if they want my attention instead. A few of them have even started yelling my name across the gym just to say hello. It's a great feeling to know that your presence is appreciated.
Before I write Part 2, I want to test something out. Another member of our community, SactoWrestler, shared some advice about wearing wrestling shirts to the gym to spark conversation. So I ordered a few and plan on wearing them to see if it leads to any wrestling meetups. For example, I just ordered one that has a vintage graphic of a takedown, and another with a bold, funny text about wrestling (check the photos below).
Stay tuned for part 2! Will it lead to a friendship, wrestling, something more, or all of the above? 😏
BLACK OPS (36)
10/06/2025 11:50 PMLove those Shirts Bro, especially the Second one. 💯 💯
ScissorX (14 )
10/07/2025 12:51 PM(In reply to this)
Yea, can't wait to try them out!
sportart (5)
10/10/2025 12:23 AM(In reply to this)
Like the social tips.
Like the T shirt.
Is it for sale?
ScissorX (14 )
10/10/2025 7:30 AM(In reply to this)
I ordered the t-shirts online.
Juggernaut (0)
10/07/2025 6:04 PMThe last time anyone ever asked for my number at the gym they were trying to sell me something.
ScissorX (14 )
10/07/2025 6:13 PM(In reply to this)
How long had you known them before they asked for your number? Was it someone you barely knew, or did you already have a connection or bond with them?
Juggernaut (0)
10/08/2025 10:46 AM(In reply to this)
I have a total of one gym member that I talk to regularly. He approached me with a friendly demeanor and I reciprocated. Other than him, I talk to the cleaning guy more than any of the gym members.
I never approach anybody unless its necessary to complete a task, such as in a group.
People approach me all the time. Once I was in the supermarket and some guy said hello to me. Of course I was clueless until he said he knew me from the gym.
Another time, I was walking through downtown and asked a random guy for directions and it turned out he knew me from when I was a member at Planet Fitness years before. Of course I didn't recognize any of them from Adam.
Anyway, its not your advice, which is sound. I just don't try that hard.
ScissorX (14 )
10/08/2025 2:31 PM(In reply to this)
It's a really good sign that people are approaching you on their own. But the bigger question is, do you want more interaction? You said you "don't try that hard." Is there a reason you don't?
Juggernaut (0)
10/10/2025 9:02 AM(In reply to this)
There are several reasons, most of which I can't say here. But one that I can say is that people don't keep their word. I'm a man that values honor, determination, and commitment. Those things most people take for granted.
Suffice it to say, I've reached out many times and helped many people over the years and all of them just abandon me without any trace. Not even an apology when I see them weeks or months later.
Before, total strangers would come up to me and ask me about training and diet and I spend 20-30 minutes answer their question. Then the next time I see them, they're just sitting on the machine texting for 20 min. and working out for for 2 minutes.
Don't waste my time if you're not serious about training. I take my workouts seriously. I don't spend 90% of my time at the gym texting or web surfing, or socializing. That's my secret.
Anyway, at this point, I've grown bitter and dismissive. An attitude about myself I really hate. I could fill pages, but nobody would read it, so I'll end it here.
ScissorX (14 )
10/10/2025 1:13 PM(In reply to this)
I hope you know I mean well with what I'm about to say.
And I did sense some bitterness in your text.
I've also ended contact with people without giving a reason before.
For example, there's a guy at the gym I talked to just once and decided to keep my distance from him after that first conversation.
There's also another one I talked to multiple times, but every time I could feel his narcissism was just too much. Now, I just say hello from a distance and don't engage in conversation with him anymore.
There are also guys I can tell have bad energy just from a distance, but some you only figure that out after you get to know them better.
I'm not saying any of this applies to you. While some people are meant to come and go in our lives, others stay because they feel appreciated and valued. Of course, it's not always that simple; there's more to it than just that, and sometimes we also need to look critically at ourselves.
Trekie66 (0)
10/08/2025 12:15 AMI always wanted to connect with anyonebi see in the gym. Too bad there's no rented room with mats to use
ScissorX (14 )
10/08/2025 2:23 PM(In reply to this)
Too bad. In my case, I rent a room that has proper wrestling mats.
meatheadosis (4 )
10/09/2025 8:55 AM(In reply to this)
How would I go about finding a place like this? Is there a term for this kind of business to look for on, say, Google maps?
ScissorX (14 )
10/09/2025 12:35 PM(In reply to this)
I live in the Netherlands, and it's possible to rent public gym spaces here. While you can find a place by searching online, I actually found my gym through another wrestler.
BLACK OPS (36)
10/08/2025 6:47 PMThe Thing with me is, alot of the Times I see Guys, usually working out or just chilling between Sets. I'm Just alittle Shy about approaching random People, I feel like I don't wanna bother or disturb them. Smh
ScissorX (14 )
10/08/2025 9:11 PM(In reply to this)
Being shy makes it more challenging. But you could start by greeting them with a nod and see how they respond. If the reciprocate in a positive way, then keep doing it for a couple of weeks, until you feel you are ready to take it further. Maybe as for a spot or work in at a machine. And, always keep in mind, they might be shy too. Most of the guys I know are shy, but I made them feel comfortable enough. Now, they feel they can easily approach me.
Scooter (76 )
10/09/2025 6:23 AMThis is fascinating to me. I think you are right about all these steps, and I like how you describe them. I can see how guys at the gym would look up to and trust you.
chicagowrestbox (22 )
10/10/2025 2:38 AMLove these gym blogs, very upbeat and encouraging. I started going to a gym for the first time last year in my sixties and really enjoy that workout space. I have a trainer so it‘s a ready-made buddy situation, but anyone who trains regularly can appreciate your advice. Thanks!
ScissorX (14 )
29 days agoI approached a new guy at the gym today. He's been working out here for a few months. He was using a machine that I wanted to use, so I asked him how many sets he had left. He said he had three, but he was friendly and offered to let me work in with him.
After two sets, I decided to just introduce myself. I thought, "Since I'm already here, I might as well." He seemed a bit nervous, but before that, I had noticed him staring at me and trying to make eye contact. The fact that he was staring and that he offered to share the machine was a good enough sign for me to take the next step. Next time I see him, I'll make sure to greet him by his name.
It's that simple! 😉