ScissorX's blog
More Than a Spot: How I meet other men (and women) at the gym (and you can too!) Part 1
For gym buddies, friends, wrestling meetups, or something more... 😏
Let's be real, trying to meet people at the gym can feel super awkward. It's a place where we're all focused on our own thing, so it's easy to feel like you're bothering someone if you try to start a conversation. Maybe you've been eying a specific guy and you want to get to know him better so you can take things beyond the gym.
I got inspired to write this post after seeing comments on my last one, and I wanted to share a few tips that have worked for me to make that first connection feel natural, not forced.
Step 1: Laying the groundwork
First, you gotta be smart about who you approach. Don't go up to someone you've only seen once. The key is to look for the regulars, the people you see often. And at the same time, make sure you're a familiar face too! Consistency is everything. When you show up regularly, you become more approachable. It's way easier to connect with someone who feels familiar than with a complete stranger.
Speaking of approachable, I've noticed that I tend to approach guys who look comfortable and confident. The ones who are rocking stringers, tank tops, or short shorts often seem more at ease (if you know what I mean 😏) which makes it easier for me to walk up and say hi.
Step 2: The subtle approach
Once you've been seeing each other around for a few weeks, start with a simple greeting. A nod, a quick "hey," or a smile works perfectly. See how they react. If they seem friendly, awesome! If they look like they'd rather be left alone, respect their space and move on.
After a few more weeks of this, you can try one of these simple moves:
- Ask for a spot: This is a classic for a reason. It's a clear, low pressure request and a great way to start a conversation.
- Give them a compliment: This is a powerful and easy way to break the ice. It's a great way to make someone's day and show you're paying attention in a positive way.
For example, you could walk up, give a fist bump, and say, "Hey, I just wanted to say your squat form is really solid. Keep it up!" Then, just move on. The goal is to make them feel good without a long, drawn out conversation.
Step 3: The direct approach
If you're more direct like me, you can skip the subtle stuff and go straight for the introduction. I've found this is a great way to cut through all the small talk.
- Example 1: "Hey, I always find it a little weird that I see the same people here all the time but never get to know them. I'm [Your Name]. What's yours?"
- Example 2: "Training legs today? Tough day!" Or, "Do you mind if I work in with you?" Once you're working in together, you can start asking questions like, "How long have you been working out?" or "Is this one of your go to exercises for triceps?" Other guys have also approached me by this.
It's not about being an expert, but about showing that you're dedicated and serious about your fitness.
Now you're in!
After these initial steps, you've broken the ice. The goal now is to keep that connection going. Keep greeting them, occasionally work in together, and strike up a short conversation every now and then. Keep the compliments coming, but don't overdo it.
Do this for a few weeks, and you'll be ready to take the next step.
Stay tuned for Part 2, where I'll cover how to take things further, from gym buddies to beyond! 😏😈
hibyelolhi (20)
9/27/2025 6:56 PMdid u make that AI pic?🤣 great insight!! thank you, king! great insight all around. “Part 2: How to take things further from Gym Buddies, to getting them trapped in your legs” (kidding.. partially)😆
ScissorX (14 )
9/28/2025 12:06 PM(In reply to this)
I gave AI my text and asked it to create an image that goes with it, ans that is the image that came out of it haha
hibyelolhi (20)
9/28/2025 1:20 PM(In reply to this)
ohh makes sense. thanks again though like i said, very helpful! i like how you added both perspectives in a sense from someone who does want to try this out and someone who may have had these cues before!
calwrestler (146)
9/27/2025 7:28 PMThat's really helpful. Besides everything you said, I realize I have missed some "cues" that came from other guys!
""
ScissorX (14 )
9/28/2025 12:08 PM(In reply to this)
Could be! But I often miss those cues too. I'm still careful though as I try to do it as discretely as possible.
FullNelson2U (30)
9/28/2025 11:13 AMReally EXCELLENT TIPS!!! I have used many of these in the past and made some great gym friends (gay and straight). I have even wrestled with a few guys that I met or introduced them to wrestling. A great way to bring up wrestling is to ask what type of cardio are you doing? I always talk about how I have trained in BJJ in the past and still roll with some friends in my garage on my mats. It fun, social, and a great way to get a good cardio workout... plus, it a fun social experience and it certainly beats the boring treadmills! Invite them to come roll with you or with some friends. You can usually tell if they are interested or not. ScissorX, these are great tips and ironically, I actually have a new gym buddy by recently doing a number of things you suggest in here in your blog. Guys, try these tips... they really work! You'll not only increase your friends and wrestling buddies, but you'll also learn some great workout tips! THANKS SCISSORX!!!
ScissorX (14 )
9/28/2025 12:11 PM(In reply to this)
Thank you for your kind words. And yes, suggesting wrestling as a workout works! I will mention it in part 2.
FullNelson2U (30)
9/28/2025 12:45 PMI think we're all excited to hear what you have for part two. I know I am!!!
ScissorX (14 )
9/28/2025 2:41 PM(In reply to this)
Nice! Stay tuned!
Juggernaut (0)
10/01/2025 3:10 AMHello, great blog. Please do one on how to start a chat or a PM. I learned about open-ended questions in high school.
"Hi" by itself is not a conversation starter.
ScissorX (14 )
10/04/2025 2:41 PM(In reply to this)
Thanks for your feedback. I might do a future post about how to start a chat. You're right about 'hi'. I myself am less inclined to respond when someone starts with just that. When it happens, I sometimes assume the person might not have good social skills, which is a turn-off for me. I also don't respond quickly to just a compliment. People are much quicker to reply when a message has a specific purpose or a call to action.