WrestlerVic's blog

Wonderful posting without a doubt. I especially love the part about seeing you guys today you I want to wrapped around you so badly.

I understand what you said. However, one exception doesn't make the rule. If you aren't able to have recent pics and a face pic (at least in private), why shall I loose my time on someone that got interested into me because of my pics?

If the likes of you get rejected at times, I have no chance lol but to be serious I understand people have preferences, I do and I accept them when they say thanks but no thanks. What I don't get are those who don't reply, just say no not nothing, that person who contacted you made the effort and a no reply can feel degrading.

I think the no reply is a positive thing because it doesn't hurt your feelings. It just says what it is. Sometimes I will forget that I've already messaged a guy and I will see that he never replied or whatever to the last time and then I just, you know, back off.

I disagree. That won’t come across as positive for people who come to Meet Fighters hoping to feel free and find acceptance in the wrestling community. Many of them struggle with insecurities, low self-worth, or self-love issues. They come here to do a sport they never thought they could and rejection, even within this community, can push them into a dark place.

Some might revert to old habits, but for others, being rejected by fellow wrestlers especially when they expected support can feel even worse. We need to address this issue of rejection on Meet Fighters and across the wrestling world with much more care and better handling. Kindness is free!

Not answering IS an answer.

We will have to agree to disagree 🙂 as I just see it as rude.

I agree with you 100% it's totally rude! My motto: "Kindness is free!"

Do you know why more and more guys don't answer instead of saying, sorry bla bla bla? Because it feels like you need to justify yourself with the risk the other will argue. You find it's rough not having an answer? Fine with me. I hope you can handle the truth; I will tell you you're are fat, not in shape or too old.

Thank you for reaching out truly, I appreciate the effort. There's no justification needed in a response to anyone! I believe that when someone isn’t the right fit for what’s being offered, a simple, respectful decline is sufficient. A brief “thank you for thinking of me, but I’ll pass” goes a long way, no need to overexplain or apologize.

As for your personal remarks about my age, appearance, or fitness, those don’t affect me. Wrestling is a hobby I love, and the opinions you shared are just that words. They don’t define who I am or diminish the meaningful friendships I’ve built, including strong bonds forged through wrestling with some incredible men.

I understand not everyone will agree with or like me—and that’s okay. But I’m confident and content in who I am. As long as I love everything about me and who I am. Your opinion doesn't matter!

Have a great day,

My "truth reply" was only an example and not intended towards you

My friend, If that was an example shared to any of us here in this thread it doesn’t sound like an example.

If you meant it as an example then you would say. For example: etc etc

Your message: “ I hope you can handle the truth; I will tell you you're are fat, not in shape or too old.”

That does not sound like an example to me. Unless you specified prior to the message that it is an example.

Sorry having "forgotten" the world "example" as I thought it was clear it was rhetoric and a debate on something hypothetic. I don't know you, we never interact; I have no reason to be deliberately rude towards you. I only wanted demonstrate it's better no reply than saying something that can hurt the ego.

For some people, responding with "I'm sorry, I'm not interested. But thanks for asking" will often lead to a "why?" response or it won't stop the conversation. What zafta is saying is that the person may not want to hear why: you're too big for me, I don't like your age, you are out of shape, you don't have a face picture, I am not into what styles of wrestling you are into, etc. He's just giving examples of things that are better left unsaid.

You're right on what I wanted to explained. Nothing to add more. Thanks!

Thanks for the clarification. @wrestlevic and @zafta.

It is what it is.

Ill shoot my shot and if a guy says no that's alright. Every person has a preference and eventually there will be a connection.

I personally feel the whole "no response is a response" philosophy is lame. Just say you aren't interested...it takes literally five seconds

Rejection isn’t pleasant, but it matters less what you say than how you say it. I’ve been a part of the wrestling community for many years, but even so, rejection is a constant companion. Here in Florida where wrestlers abound, I find I rarely get any matches! I do get a few when some competitors are just passing through Florida. Just today, I reached out with a friendly message to someone on Meet Fighters. He saw it and didn’t reply. I shrugged it off “keep it moving” but honestly, that stings. It really isn’t cool. I hope people start realizing that KINDNESS IS FREE!

What’s going wrong? On Meet Fighters, many people read a message from someone showing interest and then leave it unread or unanswered. Imagine you took the time to write something thoughtful like: “Hey, would you like to train tomorrow morning?” You hit send, and nothing. That silence is a rejection in itself, and it stings.

Why it hurts:
A man reaching out to wrestle isn’t necessarily looking for romance, just camaraderie, workout partners, a sense of belonging. It can feel like he wasn’t even worthy of a reply. That said, consider how it might feel on the other side: if you're not interested, it’s still kind to respond. A quick, polite message costs you nothing, but shows respect. In my opinion people need to learn how to do rejection better.

These are some examples of things that anyone can use as a reply to someone:

“Thanks for the invite really appreciate it. Unfortunately, I’m not available, but good luck with your training!”

“Thanks for reaching out! I’m focusing on other goals right now, but best of luck with your wrestling.”

“Awesome message thanks! I’m not looking to spar right now. Keep pushing and maybe catch up another time.”

This approach costs any of us ten seconds, and it preserves respect and community bonds. Why this matters for the wrestling community? Wrestling especially in high school or college is based on weight class, skill, and effort, not looks or sex appeal. That focus is what builds unity. But when the platform becomes a venue for seeking sexual encounters or appearance-based attraction, it shifts the dynamic. Many rejections stem from that shift. If Meet Fighters users came to the platform solely to practice the sport focus on technique, weight, drills, grappling then rejections might happen less often. And when they do happen, they'd feel less personal and more situational: “not a match for me right now,” rather than “you’re not appealing enough.”

We should be aware that rejection stings but silence stings more. A quick, and respectful reply to the other wrestler builds goodwill. It also keeps the focus on sport, not sex or appearance. When everyone treats messages with courtesy, this community stays true to its purpose: to wrestle and grow together.

Good read, regarding rejecting someone:

Whereas on dating and hookup apps I absolutely agree that "No answer is an answer" because really weird people may see any answer as an invitation to discuss, insult, guilt-trip, force or whatever their way into your bedroom and it happened multiple times to me that I was left shaken for hours or days by their insanity that ensued after me rejecting them...

I generally think this community is more deserving and able to handle a rejection properly. The thing I needed to learn, keep it brief, keep it simple:

Hey, I am not interested, sorry. Have fun here / Good luck finding other people during your vacation / Bye

There is no need to justify yourself and lay out the reasons. You might end up hurting the other person by digging into an insecurity or give them the impression your consent is up for debate if they can just argue away the reason(s) you gave them.

I think it is a little rude that people don't say what they think or want to say no and can't. Perhaps it does hurt the other persons feeling but isn't it better to be honest than just leaving it and not really letting the person move on knowing that there is potentially someone else on this site that will wrestle with them.