RhodyRaybo's blog

For those of you who know me, you know that I've had a "Site B" in North Attleboro, MA for wrestling for the past 7 years. It was an empty house that belonged to my wife's aunt who passed away in January 2015. This "aunt" technically wasn't an aunt, but my mother-in-law's cousin, who was an only child who lived alone, never married, no heirs., was handicapped with cerebral palsy..and NO WILL! This "aunt's" mother, who had passed away 30 years earlier, in her will it was written that in the event of the aunt's passing, everything in the aunt's estate would go to my mother-in-law. But because of the way the will was drafted, they couldn't honor it on anything that was in the aunt's name. Most of the real estate was in the aunt's mother's name. Anyway, we had to wait for probate court and finding living cousins. It was a pain and dragged on for a few years, but just as things were starting to move, covid hit, and the courts shut down. Now in the last 2 years things have progressed where we can finally sell this house and we have a realtor lined up.....which means no more wrestling for me at site B. I can still host in my basement, and from April to October can host at the summer cottage that was part of the aunt's estate in Wareham, MA. But the North Attleboro location was far more convenient for so many of my wrestling buddies from Massachusetts. But anyway, it would seem that I will have to make BJJ my main wrestling and limit one on one when someone is willing to make it out to either my house here in Cranston or the summer cottage, which is only open for half the year.

Looking back at the history of wrestling in that location, the first match in that house was with Pecs44 a couple months after the aunt's passing. Pecs was the one who most frequently came there to wrestle. Next one who was most frequent was Kevinj8664. And next was Spiro45. Ibearian also met me there a few times before he left the area. Txbigb would came all the way down from Nashua, NH at least once a month before he moved back to Texas. I also hosted there Adonisnick, Volkman80, MCIC, Average Joe, Wrestling Beast, Rassle4fun, Jrugbyguy53, NEjobberboy, Hymalayan Muscle, GansettBear, Onelastgrasp, MCGP27, DG Duffy, and a whole slew of out of town visitors. It was perfect. This was a big, empty house with a large living room. I began just by putting bed spreads down. Then later on, Spiro45 gave me a set of puzzle mats to use. Then after that, MA Wrestler (who is no longer on the site here), had to hang up his singlet and offered me his mat. What a mat that is! I just brought it home and found some space to store it, but using it in my space will prove to be a challenge. My final match in this space was with MCGP27 this past Sunday. I had a terrific time with him, and he offered to help me roll the mat up.

While most of my grappling will be limited to BJJ with or without a gi, I will still be willing to host when it's convenient for anyone who wants to wrestle. I will still go see anyone willing to host within a reasonable drive. I will still make an occasional wrestling overnight trip to Maine. But North Attleboro, that was so special. However, it was really the guys I wrestled there who MADE it special. Although there were a few guys who met me there that were a total waste of time, as I had to drive a half hour to get there, most of the guys have been sensational. Thank you everyone who came to North Attleboro and you're still more than welcome to meet me in Cranston throughout the year or in Wareham from April to October. Peace out Men!!!!

I recently had a reminder of the likelihood of a match actually transpiring that is set weeks in advance, by someone I've never met before. It has been my conviction that even talking about such matches are somewhat of a waste of time. Here's the latest. This guy from about 2 hours from my house requested a match on that mats at my North Attleboro temporary "Site B". That's where most of my videos have been recorded. But I should have seen 2 red flags in all this. First he wanted to invite someone he's wrestled with numerous times. And second, the other guy had no interest in wrestling me. It seemed the purpose of this guy was to get a space for him and his buddy. Now, I actually understand, but I've told other guys, I don't host if I can't participate. This guy setting it up said he would come before the other guy and the two of us could get some wrestling time in before his buddy shows up. Okay, I was willing to go along with that. However, there was still the gnawing feeling about setting it up 3 weeks in advance. His reasoning was that was the soonest he could get away. Against my better judgement, I agreed to it.

Anyway, during that time between initial setup and the date, we communicated several times. He seemed excited. He even made a voice call to me and we talked for quite a while. Although he still stressed about the other guy not wanting to wrestle me, it still appeared like it was going to happen. But at one point, my wrestling buddy Kevinj8664 requested that we meet that same night. I told him I had something else set up. Kevinj8664 is one of my semiregulars and a good friend, plus with his work and his homelife, it's not easy for him to travel my way seeing he's an hour from me. Anyway, 2 days before our scheduled match I texted the guy I had scheduled with and asked if it was still a go for Thursday. He didn't answer right away, which was unusual, but I figured, he wasn't able to. Several hours later, he does respond and his first words were to the effect of "Uh well, the thing is....." and here came the excuse. He wasn't cancelling, but he was preparing me for cancellation. He gave me the excuse of another friend coming from out of town a day early and he was waiting to hear back. I initially said, "okay, let me know". But then I decided to text Kevinj8664 to see if he was still able to do that night. Before I heard back from him, I just said regarding the other guy.."screw it". I texted him to tell him forget the whole thing. I never heard back

I wound up having my match that night with Kevinj8664 and had a fantastic time. He's a great guy and a lot of fun to beat up. Plus I've been wrestling him on average of once every other month for almost 7 years (not counting during the lockdowns). So it all worked out in mine and Kevinj's favor. And to be perfectly honest, I had a much better time with him than I would have with the other guy.

So from here on, I'm sticking to my policy. No matches scheduled more than a week in advance unless it's someone I've known for years and is reliable like Pecs44, Wrestling Beast, JRugbyguy53 or Kevinj8664. I also make exception for guys already planning a visit from out of town, and I know them fairly well, like Rassle4fun (whom I know VERY well) or Want-to-Wrestle.

At BJJ this week I asked this really skilled guy that I absolutely love being beaten up by if he was coming to class the next day. He told me he couldn't Friday mornings because of his Thursday night men's group. I asked him what the group was about and he told me that it was a bunch of guys that rent a middle school gym every Thursday and just "beat the s*** out of each other". Stunned, I was going to ask him the details but I figured I would just ask one question, so I did. I asked him "is there ever any blood?". He responded "sometimes". I said ok, and ended the conversation. Bloody battles are not my thing and pretty much not the thing of anyone I've met on any of the wrestling sites. Nobody wants blood drawn. Sometimes guys get injured, but we try to do wrestling/boxing/grappling without injuring each other, even though it does happen from time to time. But this sounded like they attempt to injure each other. Well, that's his thing, not mine. But my mind was blown that a real life "Fight Club" is right in my own neck of the woods. Though I have no intention of ever joining such a group. Man to man grappling and BJJ class is just fine with me. Peace out gents.

I have wrestled in the last 8 years probably over 200 guys in most likely well over 1000 matches. This would include any grappling and rolling I've done at Systema and BJJ classes. There are several wrestlers that I have rolled with numerous times over the years who have influenced me in this pastime more than others. Those who have influenced me for the better include Rassle4fun, Wrestling Beast, Twisterman, Average Joe, DG Duffy, JRRugby53, Kevinj8664, and Jiminmaine. But I would say the one wrestler that I want to acknowledge as coming closest to being a mentor to me it is Pecs44. Some of you have probably seen the many wrestling matches we've recorded. They are genuine and not staged in the least. We never decide in advance who is going to win and who will lose. So, it's all real.

Anyway the reason I am addressing the issue of mentoring is the differences this past with my mentor and a match with a young wrestler, who is on this site but I will call "Mike", that I am mentoring. I began wrestling with Mike last November, He came to my house and admitted that he had very little wrestling experience to speak of. Our first match was at my house in the basement. I noticed right away that as we were rolling that he had the stamina and a good amount of strength, but I was able to bring him down without much trouble. Why was that you may ask? He could be taken down because he didn't really know much about moves. He told me he really wanted to learn because he enjoyed wrestling. He had the tools, he just needed to learn to use them. So I agreed to wrestle him in the future with the understanding that I would show him how to be more effective as we wrestled. Well, 7 months later, we've wrestled 7 or 8 times and I can say that with my helping him, he's improved dramatically. This past match was especially interesting because I tapped 4 times while he only tapped twice which brings me to the point of this blog.

The question is whether or not to tap in a situation. You see, "Mike" had gotten me in several holds where I was having extreme difficulty getting out of. But 3 out of 4 of those situations, I probably could have gotten out of. But seeing he is learning very well, using things I taught him, I would usually give myself about a minute of being stuck before I tap. But, also, this past week, I wrestled with Pecs44 as well. If Pecs had gotten me in any of those holds that Mike did, then I would have given every ounce of strength I had to get out of his hold then do my best to nail him back. I CANNOT let Pecs get the best of me. Has he ever taught me holds? Actually he hasn't. But what he has taught me is vital. Pecs always taught me not to waste my energy when it's not necessary. AND he always taught me to keep going. I can't tell you how many times he'd have me pinned then if I'm lying there enjoying his chest in my face, I would hear him tell me "come on Ray, do something! Get out of this!" He always pushed me to the next level. He taught me not to give up. This doesn't mean I never tap out with others. It does mean I always give it my all in a rough competitive match. Even recently at BJJ class, I was rolling with one of the instructors. While I couldn't submit him to save my life, he told me that he noticed that I don't give up. Well, I have Pecs to thank for that.

So now back to Mike. Do I apply the exact same standards to Mike that I do to Pecs? No, not yet anyway. While my first motive to wrestle Mike is because I enjoy brawling with this young man, I have a secondary motive as well. I agreed to share with him what I know about wrestling. If I had acted the same way I with Mike when Pecs nails me...I could have injured him. And as one wrestler once said to me..."we don't want to break our toys". Plus, I want to make him know what he's done right and encourage him further. When Pecs has me nailed, I just HAVE to give my all to take him down. It's what he wants and it's definitely what I want. There's different circumstances in tapping, you gotta consider your opponent and the circumstances. Being mentored and mentoring someone else are 2 different ballgames.

Pecs did mentor me in ways that are priceless and I just want to pay it forward if I can. Plus maybe I can someday say about Mike what Pecs44 said about me on several occasions. He has said "I've created a monster!". Hopefully I can say that about Mike. Oh and "Mike" if you're reading this and want to identify yourself, feel free. Peace out and God bless.

As a wrestler for the last 8 years, I have found myself wrestling men of various professions. I'm not sure how this happened, but I actually wrestled 4 different church organists! 2 of them I still frequently rumble with. There are several professionals that I find quite desirable to roll with because of how rugged they usually are, Contractors and mechanics, though I haven't wrestled a lot of either, the few times I have, they didn't disappoint. As a fan of the Food Network, I find chefs quite desirable to roll with, but that has only happened a couple times. Turned out, that out of the 3 chefs I have rolled with, 2 of them were tough as nails. The third one was fun to roll around with, but he wasn't much of a fighter. Last year at Thunderdome I wrestled a retired police officer (he knows who he is). I admitted to him that wrestling a police officer was something of a fantasy of mine. He admitted that he got told that alot. He was a nice guy and fun to roll around with.

But this past week, I realized as of this morning that I have not only rolled with, but OVERPOWERED 2 police officers! My head is still spinning from the thought. In my last blog I talked extensively about a "fight session" that was hosted by an officer at my church. He also belongs to the church. There was lots of exercise and a lot of intense "fighting" which was more like wrestling than anything else. Every single time I took on the officer, I pinned him! And, he was stuck until I freed him!!! I was like "are you KIDDING me????". Also, in the last couple weeks at BJJ class, which I just began in April, I got to roll with this big guy who's around 40 years old and has been taking it for about a year. Strangely enough, when we rolled last Tuesday morning before the end of class, he had to tap, and when the timer went off ending the roll, he was still on the bottom. I didn't realize until I saw him TODAY at class that He TOO is a police officer! My head is spinning at the thought, especially since this has been a desire I've had for a while, to wrestle a police officer. They are both VERY NICE guys, very pleasant, very friendly. I'm grateful for the experience and hope to roll with both of them again soon.

Hmmmm...pinning a police officer...not bad for a guy in his mid 50's who used to walk around in high school with a "kick me" sign on his back. Peace out.