WORLD OF RAWR

Just a couple of reminders about some things that seem to have escaped people in terms of just simple manners.

I. I have issues with people when they are untruthful. Especially when it comes to profile info.
I don't have a way to see you or even get to know you aside from your profile information. The foundation of everything I will end up learning about you starts there. That said, I - along with a few others - will be upset with you if you display things that are patently false.

By patently false, I mean things like (a) pictures that are years old, (b) inaccurate height and weight info, and (c) inaccurate location info. Honestly, considering how wide and varied the interests of people are in this scene, lying about anything to get someone to talk to you is just unreasonable.

Mind you, I'll never be unpleasant about it, because I'm not unpleasant. Others might be. I'll simply note what happened and fade with the morning mist because the beauty of being an adult is that you can choose to leave situations without making a big fuss about it. That said, fellas, please...

II. I'm not mean.
Seriously, I'm not and I never will be. I don't like putting people in super painful anything and destroying them and humiliating them. I am here for fun, for fun, for, fun. Now rather than rant, I will share a story.

A couple of days ago, someone popped up on chat and complemented me on my profile picture (thank you) and my tattoo (I like it too, it's meaningful to me). Then they asked if I have ever put someone in headscissors (I have and it was fun for both people involved because that's how I roll).

From here, things got weird. Was it painful? Did I humiliate them by making them suck me off? Would I scissor someone until they passed out? My thoughts on each, mostly unspoken, were:

(a) No, it wasn't painful. The person I was wrestling with (and most people I imagine) didn't want to deal with anything especially painful. Like me, they were having fun. I know there is a certain scene of people that really get into the painful part of things, but that's not my camp in spite of my tolerance for pain.

(b) Did I humiliate them by making them suck me off? One, that's reserved space. Very reserved. I'm talking about secrets not even the government knows. Two, why are we humiliating people again? I get that this sport of ours is aggressive and that there are elements of domination in it and so on, but for crying out loud. I'll say this again: I am here for fun. Always. I reserve pain and such for enemies. If I make enemies here and we fight, I will be trying to stop you from hurting me. Not playing around. Smh.

(c) Depriving people of oxygen can be fun in moderate amounts with extreme respect and proper understanding and rapport between two people. That said, as a general rule, I don't do that. Golden rule and whatever. Personally, unless I have a deep trust with someone, the answer would be a nearly automatic hell no.

Things like the above make me wonder if I'm made for wrestling with most people.

After several months of talking back and forth, the planets and stars aligned, allowing us to meet in a nearby city. The place was Clemson, SC.

The texts had been more frequent that week, but on the day of the meetup, they were even more frequent. Locations. Whereabouts. Delays. "I'm in the shower." "I'm on the road."

As I made my way up, the drive was scenic with a beautiful sunset and dramatic cloudscape. I arrived at the hotel about an hour and a half later and let Alan know that I had arrived. Previous to my arrival, he had a number of matches set up that ended up being cancelled. Being that I was the first match that hadn't cancelled, he was ecstatic and it showed.

If I had to describe it, I would say he was excited and nervous - somewhere between Christmas and his 21st birthday. His greeting was enthusiastic and we walked inside. As we headed to the room, we talked about what he was doing in the area and why he was there.

When we arrived at the room, I sat down for a whole two minutes before he nearly ripped my shirt off. Apparently it had been years since he had last wrestled and so he was a bit more than eager to finally get back into the swing of things. I obliged with a chuckle.

Alan had spoken extensively about scissoring and how much he enjoyed giving and receiving them, so I asked him to teach me how to do them properly. After taking a few moments to learn, we went into hours of tumbling and grappling and, eventually, scissoring.

I'm not in a dominant position normally and I am bad at finishers when I do get the dominant position. I got plenty of practice with both of those concepts during this match. Alan was certainly skilled and that came through...

...but it didn't stop me. :)

There was laughter and taunting along with water and breaks in-between. He noted that I wrestled with a smile and that he didn't know how strong I was. It seems that I was full of pleasant surprises that night, but then again, that night was full of pleasant surprises for me as well.

We're already planning our next match. Of course, the best parts of this match are things that are unsaid. Then again, that is how every match works; they are all unique in their experience and the magic that makes them work when they do is something that only the people involved can understand.

In sum: I have the world champ for a pet and he enjoys that arrangement. ^_^

This year has brought good things my way for sure. I wonder what is next. It needs to include Alan for sure.

"I'm on Oconee Street."

Mind you, the story with Slim doesn't necessarily start here, but it's the nearest to this moment. We had met on a different website and started chatting there. From that point, it was chats and texts until Friday of this past week. That would be two days ago.

We were trying to make arrangements - do I go there or do we stay here/if here, then where - as everyone often does. Logistics can be the devil at times, but ultimately I was fine with it and, more than that, financially prepared for it.

We decided on Saturday as a meeting day and that the place would happen later. Cool. Then Saturday rolls around and things come up as they often do. Things had to be rescheduled and I made plans with another friend or two in the meantime. This turned out for my benefit, I was dead tired and went to bed at 8:30 for the night.

Then comes today and we're back to line one. I wonder what they will look like. I wonder if they will respect rules and limits and/or scare me. Then they arrive in my city and I guide them to my address. It turns out that the minor concerns I may have had were non-concerns even with multiple megapixels of upgrade.

They are nervous, I am not. We talk for a while about everything and I ask them to teach me things. We start to roll and instincts take over. Mostly in defense. I'm offensively-clueless. We roll for a while, take a break, roll for a while, take a break, roll for a while.

In between we talk about things like work, family and friends. I offer water. We laugh and comment on the almost heavenly weather today. Good energy all around. We roll, he nearly pins me. I nearly pin him. We are respectful and playful. He's strong and I have grown. I can tell.

Afterward, I am thinking we will head to a pub and chat before he heads home. I mentioned writing this to him and he smiled.

"I think I might write some, too. You've inspired me."

Always a good thing if you ask me.

I've never considered myself a dominant type by any means, but I am also not submissive.

It is a weird middle ground to be in. Especially when I'm asked about things like being a jobber or not. I suppose i am, but then I have moments where I am not. Does that mean I'm a heel? No, but I'm not in jobber mode, either.

Like many other areas of my life, there is the constant concept of cusp or being between and not solidly planted in one place or another.

For instance, I have recently acquired a pet. I enjoy him a lot. That said, I am not demanding or especially aggressive toward my pet; I don't believe that is how control and authority work. At the same time, even though I am gentle with my pet and kind, I am not the pet and my pet is not the master.

I think dominance works like that. Some things require action to establish, but in many ways, dominance can be made clear long before any action is taken.

"Have you had any good matches lately?"

It would be awesome if this answer were "yes" more often, but it isn't. I'm more of an analytical mind, so I like to understand why things are as they are and work as they work. This ended up with some funny situations.

SCENARIO 1: "Hello, Mr. Bond"

There's a lot of things I'm willing to be wild about, but every kid knows about "stranger danger". The fact is that a meetup here is a physical thing and when I am meeting up with a person from this site, that I have never met before, where will have to travel a distance to meet each other and probably alone, there is no margin for mistrust, so I don't bother with it.

For the reasons, above, I wouldn't ever. I salute you, Mr. Bond, but if we are going to lock up, trust is a must. End of.

SCENARIO 2: Vaporized

SCENARIO 3: "Somewhere over the rainbow"

I swear it's the only time I ever find myself frustrated by not owning a car. I suppose planning could easily get around any transit issue, but then we go back to SCENARIO 2.

SCENARIO 4: You scare me

A lot of this stuff doesn't seem to matter even in terms of distance. There are four people in my city and hundreds - literal hundreds - within 60 miles of me and of those hundreds (plus four), I have met *one* from that radius and one from someone that actually lives several hundred miles away.

I don't even know.

I want to figure out a way to make this stuff happen more often, but until then, you can deal with my humorous writing about my frustrations because it doesn't and the gear I'm grabbing.

Oh wait, I didn't mention that, did I?

GRINDING GEARS (because I like creative titles and innuendo)

This month, I bought my first singlet. I plan on buying another one soon since I have a dash of extra cash on me. It should be equally fun and enjoyable to try on. I need to wear it more to break it in, but so far, it feels great when I wear the one I bought and I'm curious about what I'll look like when I get the other.

They are both solid servings of "Get yourself in shape, son", so the encouragement is nice.

.
.
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AND ONWARD.

One more thing

Thanks for putting things I can enjoy in my inbox from suggestions on what to buy to just encouragement to hang in there until we can meet up, I enjoy all of the messages I get and try to reply to all of them when I can. At least one of you [*cough* Scott *cough*] have moved out of just "hey we want to wrestle" to being more akin to friends and I'm enjoying every minute of that.

Keep it up.

Also, if you are writing me after reading this whether directly or via comment: (1) thank you, too. It's good to know that someone reads this stuff. It's long. (2) I like feedback, so write all you want to.

Take care, guys.

I have a goal of trying to meet up with more of you and do things and part of that goal involves clothing.

I'm giving myself a goal of getting a little gear every month for the next three to see how things go. I made my first move last week and have ordered my first singlet. I'm so very excited about getting it and trying it on. I'm also ordering a new jock. I've decided I like them and want another one or two.

That's pretty much it. Everything else is trying to meet up with people I will have fun with and keeping up with those of you I've already met.

I think I'm going to update the calendar for spur of the moment trips. Stay tuned for when I'll be in your area.

It's been a while since I've posted. All the normal reasons: work, life, blah blah blah.

That said, I've been okay. There's been a little bit of a slowdown here communication-wise, so hopefully all of you guys are doing okay, too.

In terms of what's going on this way: just life, I suppose. Got a couple of messages where people want to meet up or whatnot (not many, but some) and I'm figuring all of that out.

Can't decide if I want to be manhandled or fight. I feel in the mood for the former these days.

"Are you in a red car?"

That was the text I sent before finding the car and hopping in. From there, we headed to the meeting place and got ready to playfully wrestle for a bit.

As we rode out, he politely answered my onslaught of questions about everything from jobs to speedos. He had driven quite a way and in heavy traffic so he was a bit tired. Ever the trooper [J] came down anyway.

After a bit of talking, he wondered when we would start. I'm never one to go first in most things, so I explained myself. We talked about the rules and stripped down to speedos and, in my case, a new jock I had bought. [J] normally wrestles by pinfall which was new to me and so it went down 4-2.

He wanted me to add the following: "You got beat by a 50-year-old, out of shape man."

We chuckled about this and he suggested I work on upper body strength. To be fair to me, however, he's a bit heavier than I. That said, I knew that and I wrestled anyway and I wouldn't have done otherwise.

He asked what my favorite holds were. I have a number I want to try, but meh. I need to practice them and how will I do that? :P

Apparently, I also wear a jock well.

So went match number two. I wonder what will happen between now and the next one. I hope the answer isn't another six months in coming, though :P

I think between this entry and this one, I find myself generally wondering what to even do.

It's just hard to catch people where I live. I should move to a place upstate or on the West Coast or the UK where this stuff happens more often.

Anyway, I'm a week or so out from vacation and I will probably have free time to wrestle if I can meet up with someone. That said, I have about a snowball's chance in hell from what I can see of that happening.