Darren's blog
Still Fighting, Just Differently
I never thought a few seconds on the road could steal something I built with my own fists. One moment I was on my bike, the next I was rolling on the asphalt road, ribs splintered like glass under my skin. The doctors told me I’d heal, that with time I’d be fine. They didn’t know the real injury wasn’t on the x-ray.
Fighting had always been my pulse. Not the polished, televised stuff in gyms or arenas, but the kind of scraps you learn on your own — watching and joining those backyards, carparks, friends’ garages. No coaches, no bright lights, just sweat, bruises and the quiet pride of teaching yourself how to move. It was where I felt alive, where I measured myself. After the accident, all of that went silent. While my ribs knitted themselves back together, something inside me stayed cracked. I watched from the sidelines as others traded punches and stories, while I sat out, pretending I was okay.
A few weeks ago I tried to test myself..met a guy from some dating apps. Just a little roughhousing, nothing serious, just to feel my body in that space again. At first it felt like home — the stance, the grip, the smell of sweat — until a twist, a push, and then the pain hit me like a blade from inside. Sharp, hot, familiar. I stopped immediately, breathless, trying not to show it. Later at the clinic, the doctor didn’t sugarcoat it: my ribs still hadn’t fully recovered. “A couple more months of real rest,” he said, “or you’ll set yourself back again.” Walking out of that room felt heavier than any punch I’d taken.
On the outside, I look normal now. I go to work, laugh with friends, carry groceries, nod when people tell me how lucky I am. They see a body that functions again. They don’t see the nights I lie awake, palms pressed to my ribs, remembering how it felt to square up with someone, to taste the adrenaline right before a fight. I miss the bruises, the exhaustion, the ritual of pushing past pain — not because I liked pain, but because that’s where I felt whole.
Sometimes I wonder if a part of me is still lying on that road with the bike, unable to get up. But then I remember what fighting taught me before I ever threw a punch: that a fight isn’t only about who hits harder. It’s about getting back up yourself, even when no one’s watching. It’s about holding the broken pieces and still finding a way to move.
I don’t know if I’ll ever step back into a fight. Maybe that chapter’s closed. But writing this is its own kind of fight — a way of admitting that I’m still healing, that strength isn’t always about muscle or impact. Sometimes it’s just breathing through the ache and showing up anyway.
Sibeasterus (13)
9/28/2025 8:01 PMNo panics! Ribs will be in excellent condition in one-two months, it's very light break comparing with many other bones
Darren (20)
9/29/2025 1:04 AM(In reply to this)
Crossing fingers on that...I don't have the time to have full bedrest like what doc advised due to work nature but giving it a break until end of year if possible from any physical activities just to be safe
JiminQueens2 (78)
9/28/2025 10:49 PMDamn man, you are one hell of a writer!
Darren (20)
9/29/2025 1:06 AM(In reply to this)
Nah, just expressing my feelings in the words I know
LeeLocks (41)
9/29/2025 3:32 AMHi Darren - Your well written posting is touching is different ways.
First of all, I’m sorry that you had that accident that has restricted your wrestling and impacted your health. I wish that you will have a full recovery very soon.
Second, I really like how you describe that fighting is not only physical but also mental. It is very true that fights are things that we do every day and when you say that we need to push through the aches of the soul, we do it for simple situations and for larger events like losses of dear ones or when we confront health challenges.
You are a fighter and you will overcome this situation! If there is one thing that I’ve discovered in my short time as part of this community is that most people here have a mindset to push through challenges.
Wishing you lots of strength all the way to Malaysia from Canada. Take care.
Darren (20)
9/29/2025 8:49 AM(In reply to this)
Thanks for the kind words Lee,
Well, it does really affects my mental health as fighting have been one of my way to release stress,socialise, and learning point where I really do enjoy them despite not the polished martial art gym guy..
I will definitely take my time to completely heal and make a comeback here again
Scissorsubmit (0)
9/29/2025 12:24 PMYou will come back feom this...and without redress. Moving about and working and being normal is all good physio.
8 years ago, I got none cancer. 3 ribs removed, half diaphragm, spleen, muscle flap taking muscle from my back and shoulder to fill the areas they had removed. And finally a mesh rebuild to protect my organs.
10 hours in surgery. I have no feeling still to the surface of my left side feom my shoulder to the top of my left thigh. But you know what....I can still wrestle! Took a while for everything to heal. I may not be as strong as I was on my left side, or quite as agile. And I may not win as much. But im still in the game. And so will you be.
Maybe look at some bag work to relieve the stress/tension until youre fully fit again.
Take a break from participating until the new year and start of with something light to see how you go.
And some gym work in a month or 2 as a bit of physio and to help yiu recover.
But you'll be back for sure. Ribs repair very very well
elpectoral (22)
9/30/2025 10:28 PMWishing you all the best and full and fast recovery ✌️
Daniel1 (17)
10/03/2025 4:44 PMYou are real fighter! get well soon. your enthusiasms about wrestling will help you recover.