Darren's blog

There’s something I didn’t think I’d need to say out loud and I don't wish to—but clearly, it needs to be said:

Being new doesn’t give you the right to be disrespectful.

And being lean, fit, or “aesthetic” doesn’t make you better than someone with a bigger build.

Here’s what quite recently happened in the wrestling community that left a sour taste in my mouth:

A seasoned member—let’s call him Mark—reached out to a newcomer. Friendly, warm, respectful. A simple message:

> “Hey, welcome! Hope we can wrestle one fine day.”

No pressure. No expectations. Just a kind gesture from someone who’s been around and loves the sport.

And the reply?

> “Only in your dreams.”

“You’re too big—you’d probably kill me.”

Seriously?

Let’s be clear: you’re allowed to have preferences. Not everyone wants to wrestle someone bigger, or older, or more experienced. And that’s totally okay.

But there’s a way to decline with basic decency. A way that doesn’t involve mocking someone’s body or throwing shade for the sake of feeding your own ego. Because this wasn’t about setting boundaries—this was about belittling someone who had only shown kindness.

We’re not impressed by your attitude.

We’re not clapping for your sarcasm.

And no—being lean doesn’t excuse being an a**hole.

What makes this worse is that it’s happening more and more. Some new faces come in with great physiques but zero humility. They act like they’re God’s gift to grappling and look down on anyone who doesn’t meet their lookbook standards.

Here’s the thing: you might be proud of your body, but if your character is ugly, no one wants to roll with you anyway.

Guys like Mark? They’ve been around. They’ve built this community with patience, knowledge, and openness. They offer guidance and sportsmanship, not just matchups. When someone like that gets mocked for their size instead of thanked for their welcome—it says a lot more about the person mocking than the one receiving it.

So here’s a little message for the egos in shiny new gear:

You’re not better than anyone just because you’re new and cut.

You're not above kindness.

And if you think being rude makes you seem tough—it doesn’t.

It makes you seem small, no matter your size.

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TL;DR:

If you’re too busy polishing your body, make sure you’re also polishing your soul and attitude. Because at the end of the day, no one remembers how shredded you were—they remember how you made them feel. And yeah, there is bunch of real man with manners and better build than you here mate

I had a thought of tagging him here but I don't want to step lower to his level