Your husband does not share your wrestling fetish.

He couldn't be my husband then. Simple as that.

So I 100% agree with your post let me explain why.

When I met my husband I was still newish to the wrestling community but had some matches under my belt. My husband is not into the wrestling fetish. He never has been, so I had a discussion with him and asked him since this was my hobby and passion of he would be ok with me still doing it, he flat out told me " of course I am, just because I don't have the same passion as you do doesn't mean I would expect you to give that up just to date me, that's wrong if anyone expect that" that's how I knew he was the guy for me. He has been very supportive anytime I want to wrestle and has even talked me out of my own head when I meet someone knew because of my social anxiety.

Move on to my bf (I am poly so I have a husband and bf, don't judge) I told him about the hobby and asked him about it when we went on our first date, he was a little more apprehensive about it due to the sexual nature of it, however I discussed it with him further and we set boundaries that would still provide what I get out of wrestling, but also secure our relationship over time. Now I am happy to say he is apart of this fetish/hobby with me. He is newer but he enjoys seeing me have fun and enjoy it.

It's wonderful when your partner shares the same passions and interests as you. But everyone is different, and everyone has the right to like or dislike something.
In my opinion, there's no point in putting it on the line and saying, "I'll never do this or that," or "I'll never be in a relationship with someone who does or doesn't do something." Often, it's enough to simply communicate honestly and express your needs. I know people in relationships who do a lot of things together, but at the same time—when necessary—they're able to leave themselves free space and freedom to pursue their passions. In my opinion, this is the best option.
Besides, we usually can't have everything in life—something always comes at the expense of something else, and we always make choices. What's the perfect choice now might not be the perfect choice in a year or five years. That's normal.

Here's my personal mileage: If my future husband doesn't share the "fetish", he'll have to be okay with me doing it with other people or he won't be a future husband. This will be a week one, possibly day two discussion. Also, this isn't primarily sexual for me, instead, it's to conquer the man that is trying to take me down and the spiritual, primal, red-blooded satisfaction I get from that.

I won't sacrifice a huge part of my DNA, while he potentially prevails his. I'm not willing to compromise on this at all. To be forthright and it may be where I diverge, this isn't just a fetish to me. Do I get sexually excited when fighting guys? Yes. But I've had many, many, many fights, without it hardly ever turning sexual. But I usually only get to fight heterosexual guys, so there's that.

In fact, I've only had one overtly sexual encounter since I started all this, which was just me deepthroating a "straight" guy's cock after he beat me up while we were playing basketball out back. But, it's a huge part of who I am as a person. It'd be akin to asking a painter to lay down their brush. Not willing. Not happening.

Exactly. You get it! Nick. :)

Let's put the shoe on the other foot. If the partner who disaproves of wrestling heard any of the following back in response how would they feel?

"I don't approve of your dinner parties you throw for other men, even if they are friends."
"I don't approve of your roller skating with other men."
"I don't approve of your going to movies with the gay movie group."
"I don't approve of you being on zoom meetings with other gay men."
"I don't approve of you going to gay bars or Pride with friends."
"I don't approve of the gay chat app on your phone."

The point is people have passions, activities they love. Some of those activities are more intimate, intense, etc. then others. If you trust a partner, you let them have their passions. If they violate your trust after during or through that activity after you set reasonable boundaries, THEN you object. Just because you are somebody's partner doe-sn't mean you control their cell phone, their friends, their activity and their lives. Your jealousy and insecurity don't give you a right to cancel their lives.

And if you are a partner with a jealous person like that, and you just go along with them isolating you to "make things easier" or "avoid the drama", you've made a big life mistake tolerating that and sacrificing what you love, and your relationship is NOT strong or solid. You are just an emotional slave.

Personally I think this is the darker side / extremes of monogamy which is control freakism. One reason I'm into polyamory. I want many wrestling athletic and potentially erotic relationships with many men. Because I will never have a monogamistic, needy, demanding partner dominating my life, I am extremely happy and self-expressed. Try it.

That’s funny cause my husband told me once he’s into wrestling
But… I never tried or asked to wrestle him

I'm only going to speak for myself specifically and others generally. I think it's very important to be actively engaged in the things you love in life and to be supported in that by a partner. That doesn't mean the partner has to share that interest or activity, but they shouldn't aggressivley put limits on it either. However, if that activity is erotic, it's important your relationship is of an open enough nature to support it, if not, you are sacrificing a great deal of your happiness for the sake of a relationship where you are not fully fulfilled. And you are also denying other prospective opponents and activity partners of that joy with you. Long term I personally do not feel that is happy or healthy emotionally for the relationship with the non wrestling partner but more importantly for you.

It might be a function of how important wrestling is to you. If it is centrally important and you feel it is part of your identify and you are extremely happy and fulfilled doing it then it is a big mistake to be or stay in a non-supportive or exclusionary (wrestling not supported, encouraged or allowed) style of relationship. You will be treating wrestling partners who are not normally closeted or fearful about wrestling like "the other woman" or a mistress, which is inappropriate and unfair to them.

If wrestling is just an idle pastime and you are not thinking about it often then it is not nearly as big of a conflict.

I think it's really important to be honest with yourself about this. It is better to be fully engaged and free to pursue something you love and single than stifled, sacrifice the happiness it brings you just to make someone happy, even if that someone shares a lot of other things with you.

Just my take as an avid wrestler.

And how long have u been in your relationship?

I get your point. Thanks. The relationship is worth the sacrifice. It comes before a fetish.

Not to mei need my own exercise (other than the gym)

And how long is your relationship??

This is tough. The relationship should come before the fetish. It takes a lot of compromise.

You are so right! I have always put the relationship before the fetish, and I always will. Thanks!

Not really he is disabled

There is nothing wrong with you and your partner /spouse to not be into the same things. Most times, relationships fall into the 80/20 rule of likes vs dislikes.y wife is a major football supporter as she helps out with different school and AAA teams. I got her to put on the gloves twice in our 20+ years together. It just wasn't her thing and I respect her for that as she lets me go and enjoy sessions without worry. The ley is to do what you're doing now which is finding an outlet to enjoy yourself then being home, in resentment, and the taking it out on your partner.

Thanks! I agree with and respect what you are saying.

he won't ever get it but hey we all happy that we found a place where we can express what we enjoy, thank you meetfighters

Mine too! Just doesn’t understand it at all!

Thank you for your positive suggestion!

When I told him about my wrestling fetish, he didn't understand it. When I tried it with him, he laughed. He has the perfect wrestling body (for me) and just is not into it at all. Frustrating.

Yes - I have the exact same issue (although we knew that about each other long ago). He like to dress up as Superman and go to conventions, so I bought a Green Lantern costume to "blend in" I'm trying to get HIM to come to a match and be the camera man. Thus, far, he won't because I do like the erotic side of things - which he knows. I am always up front with him and even show him my opponent prior to the match. Still - I get you - super frustrating !!! :-(

Perhaps you should have told him before you married. Don't get frustrated after the fact. You have caused the frustrating situation by keeping quiet.

Frustration on one side of the scale.......love on the other side.............LOVE wins.

Relationships aren’t built on one fetish mate, low tier response honestly.

I did tell him before we married. Of course I did. I realized the positives outweighed the negatives in the whole relationship. In total, we are very happy. From the tone of your response, you will probably be disappointed to hear that.

Maybe you can have a few guys over to wrestle and him watching will make him realize how important it is for you and he might enjoy it

Thank you for your positive response!